Tuesday, 14 June 2016

A rookie mistake!!!!

My previous blogs have stated how much I love teaching students. The main reasons for this are a little cheesy like - its nice welcoming new and enthusiastic people to the profession of teaching (extend middle finger, insert into mouth and make a puking noise). So other than the obvious cheese that could be spouted one of the main reasons for enjoying teaching students is the general naivety that comes with them, which can lead to the most hilarious circumstances.

So whether a teacher or a student we have all felt nervous when getting observed by our superiors, simply because none of us truly get into the profession to mess up children's education, quite the opposite in fact!

This was happening to a very capable young man we shall call Mr. T who had spent the whole week creating a most spectacular spectacle of a lesson for a reception class (4/5 year olds). He had, in-fact, worked so hard throughout the week he was admittedly running on empty by the time the lesson came along.

After some last minute coaching from his school mentor he was ready to teach the perfect lesson. He had set up the class so well the children were transported to exactly the place they needed to be to enable them to write creatively. His tutor was so impressed she commented on it throughout the introduction.

Then it happened...

Everything that could have possibly went wrong did! The Interactive Whiteboard froze stalling the lesson and inevitably putting the children out of their stride! One child decided to vomit on the floor midway through his explanation of how to write instructions, another circumstance that understandably put the children off task.

You can well imagine what Mr. T is now thinking 'Could anything else go wrong in this God-forsaken lesson observation?' 

Answer Hell yeah!

Now Mr. T had hit a period of panic! He felt he needed the lesson to move on come hell or high water! So he started that desperate thing we all do when we are questioning the children, he started to slowly say the beginning of the answer so he could at least feel like he was teaching them something.
An example for those that don't understand
"Bobby what is two plus one?"
Bobby says "Erm!"
Teacher says "thrrrrrrr"
Bobby "thrrrrrrr!"
You get the point.

Well Mr. T had begun to talk about the reading area in the classroom. He told the children that in there they may find an atlas.
"What do you find in an atlas do you think?"
He was met by the inevitable chorus of 'erms.

Now we all know that we find information about different countries, and this is all he wanted the children to say.

Has anyone figured out what he might have said to the children yet?

Thats right he dropped the c-bomb, three times! Lets relive it!

Mr T "What do we find in an atlas?"
Children "Erm!"
Mr. T "Cunt..."
Children then repeated "Cunt!"
Mr T was so nervous he didn't hear it so he repeated a little louder and slower "CUUUUNNNT!"
To which the children duly replied "CUUUUNNNT!
Mr T got halfway through the next C-bomb when he saw his mentor's purple face, his tutors look of disgust, and his teaching assistants mouth wide open in surprise!
Mr. T bravely and very red-faced finished the lesson and duly apologised to all involved.

Say it with me folks!

Oh the things they say!!!!!

I am pleased to report that Mr. T passed his teaching degree and no longer commits the same rookie mistakes. 

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