God I loved being a Newly Qualified Teacher! (NQT). I felt like I was Luke Skywalker or that girl off the new Starwars who I can't remember the name of... Anyway you get my point the force was awakened! With my pen as a proverbial lightsaber and my board as the Millennium Falcon we could travel through the educational universe fighting the proverbial darkside of misunderstanding and lack of progress! At least that is how this certain NQT felt up to lunchtime on their first day.
Being young and enthusiastic this teacher, who we shall call Mr. S, he was primed for a great first day in his reception class (4-5 years of age). He wanted to make the best impression on his class as he could, so he set up his class to have lovely activities for the children to do all day.
Throughout the morning 'yes' was his favourite word, especially to a little girl called C.
C - Can I go the toilet Mr. S?
Mr. S - Yes C.
C- Can I have some snack Mr S?
Mr S - of course you can C.
C - Can I play in the sand?
Mr. S - Yes.
C - Can I have another banana?
Mr. S - Yes
C - Can you read me a book.
Mr. S - Yes any book you like!
C - Can I have another Milk.
Mr. S - Yes you can.
3 bananas and 2 and a half cartons of milk later the ticking time bomb that was C exploded gloriously!
Projectile pieces of banana and curdled milk flew in bullet time at Mr. S. He tried to go all Matrix on it and dodge it looking cool at the same time...
To absolutely no avail!
Covered in vomit Mr. S give his most pleading look to his LSA (Learning Support Assistant), whome he did not realise was very squeamish and was heaving over the bin at his point. Thankfully the dinner lady came to take the children for lunch and Mr. S cleaned C and himself up.
A shell shocked Mr. S bravely came back in the afternoon(after a quick jaunt to Asda to get some new clothes), needless to say his answer in the afternoon to the most innocent questions was "No."
God I loved being a NQT!