Saturday, 30 January 2016

We all make mistakes, just not THAT one!!!!

There is about one thousand small things that can go wrong at the beginning of the day in lower primary school! Experienced teachers tend to pre-empt most of these by putting certain activities or rules into place that take it down to about fifty small things that could possibly go wrong (25 children = 25 bladders and bowels).

Now this is done from a lot of experience (as said above), and because as the teacher you know the children 'inside out'. BUT dya know who doesn't? Student teachers!!!!

In a way I sympathise because in the twelve weeks they are teaching, they have so much work to do to prove that they can be teachers of a high quality. Another, meaner, part of me enjoys the fact that when things do go wrong (and I have to clean it up) I know that; one they have learnt a lesson, and two that wouldn't have happened to me.

So mistakes happen, we all understand that but honestly this one is one in a million!
I was given a student when I was working in nursery we shall call him J. J was a special student as he was also an amateur body builder. AND GOOD LORD DID HE GO ON ABOUT IT!!! He used to state "I'm that proud of my body I wear the tightest clothes possible, so my pants don't fit if I wear underwear! Honestly I'm not jealous (he says through gritted teeth).

I taught J as much as possible especially about pre-empting possible situations from arising, but all I would receive back is him droning on about his training and how much he wanted to write me a training programme (mainly because I'm a bit chubby).

Honestly, as I'm writing this I have a stitch in my side with laughter!

So all of the kids enjoyed being around J - they used to call him the Hulk, for obvious reasons! One day a little boy asked could J tie his shoelaces. J had no problem with this and engaged the little boy in conversation, as any good early year practitioner would, as he squatted down...

Then it happened - we all heard it! A huge tearing sound! J's pants had obviously tore, but I'm not talking about a little tear that you could possibly hide, I'm talking about crotch to crack!

This was followed by the young boy asking J very calmly "why is your woo woo out?"

J did that walk that everyone does when you are trying to get out of the room whilst coving themselves up and he went a lovely shade of deep red.

You see, I might be chubby but I wear underwear under pants that actually fit!!!

I am pleased to say that J amended his ways and passed!

And here is the lesson for all young muscular fir students. WEAR UNDERWEAR YOU ARE NOT IN A NIGHT CLUB!!!

Time for the chorus:

Oh the things they say!!!!

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